Academic Pandemic

Today, I really want to spend some time talking about something non-art related, mainly because I haven't been very focused on my art for the last few weeks. I've not really felt like writing, painting, reading, or drawing, but I don't want to ramble on about my own personal problems, so hang with me while I do exactly that. For some reason, I feel more aware this summer than I have in years. I feel awake and open, like I've been gasping for oxygen for a long time and I'm finally breathing it in. For the last two-three years, I've been totally consumed with my work and thoughts about my future. Although it's starting to seem like it, this isn't about me and it isn't about my art. This post is about an epidemic that I see sweeping through young people. It really doesn't matter if we went to college, started working, got married, or joined the army, there's something very peculiar about what my generation is crying out about.

Tonight I will do some yoga, wash my face, comb my hair, brush my teeth, put on lotion and clean clothes, and watch a couple episodes of Futurama until I fall asleep in the bed that I made properly when I woke up this morning. Tomorrow, I will do work and end the day the same way I end tonight.

Rewind to a night in mid-April. Pan across an empty dorm room, papers scattered about on a messy bed. A laundry basket overflows onto the floor next to a desk littered in cereal bowls, coffee mugs, and books. Cut to a clock in the next room that ticks but never changes from 7:47. Cut back to the dorm room for a flash, note the room is free of any person and it's clearly dark outside. Now, a flourescently lit hallway leads you to a door as the sound of obscure heavy music grows louder. Through the door, a studio unfolds as your eyes land on a 20 year old female sitting in a stool. With shoulders slumped and a paintbrush in hand, the girl looks around at the canvases surrounding her. Pan around the room and a mug matching the ones on the desk of the dorm room tells you that the empty room belongs to this person. Cut to a clock on the wall that reads "12:04."

Earth to Lexi, bring it back in.

This metaphorical epidemic I'm trying to make recognized is what happens when a generation of young people is brought into adulthood the way we have been. College is a wonderful thing that creates amazing opportunities, but students really go through a lot during this period in their lives.

Pan across a patio of a smalltown gas station to a grey haired man in overalls pointing his finger and yelling out from under his International Harvestor cap, "Well, back in my day..."

CUT.

High school seniors spend over a year prepping for what they hope to be a time of discovery, fun, and learning which is college. Don't get me wrong, those things definitely happen, but there's something else that gets overlooked. There's an entire other category to college that we could legitimately teach classes on. That other category is adulthood. Here we are, working like we have full time jobs, not for money I remind you, but for a piece of paper that we'll get in 2-8 years that tells us we did something (which is supposedly much more valuable than anything in the entire universe).

Que audience's gasps.

Thinking about my own experiences, I realize that somewhere along the way I lost who I was completely. I don't mean that I'm damaged and beaten to a pulp, but I simply lost what made me an adolescent. Granted, puberty was no fun, but one day I stopped and looked back to wonder what happened to the person who fixed her hair every morning excited for the day. I still roll my eyes at graduation speeches about missing high school, so maybe I haven't lost all of the child-like attitudes. It's not about that, though. You don't miss high school. You miss not being an adult.

Because here's the reality. For my generation, the hard part about being an adult is not "filing those pesky taxes" or "shopping for furniture with a significant other at IKEA." The hard part is that we are so far from being able to do those things, we've become miserable. I don't mean that we're too stupid because we're a bunch of lazy bums, I mean that we simply do not have the means for those to be parts of our lives right now. We're stuck in books and coffee and social media and classes and news articles and part-time jobs and all of the pressure of being an adult without the reward of having an established lifestyle. College is like an adult simulation. Yeah, you've gotta buy your own cereal and soap, but no you can't save up and buy a house because you only have money for cereal and soap, silly.

Here's the epidemic. When some animals are caught in a trap, they will literally chew off their own feet to get loose. Here we are, in a trap, but we've been lead to believe it's for our best interest. Our feet are throbbing with pain and we see the other animals running wild and free with their own little animal families, but we're being told we need to stop whining. You can quietly lick at your wound, but don't you dare let out a single whimper because do you see those other animals running free? They had it much worse than you and even though you can't move from that trap, you better be damn grateful because you ate today and at least it's not raining today too.

Do we even realize how damaging that is to the human mind? Mental illness has spread like wildfire, obesity is an ever growing problem, young people everywhere are giving up because it all seems hopeless. You take bright eyed young people and put them in college and suddenly they can only sleep four hours at a time and they can't fit into their favorite clothes anymore and they've shut themselves off from friends and they rant about equality on social media only to be yelled at by elders. What's worth more? A 4.0 GPA or the ability to function as a normal human?

Months ago, I was the one in the studio past midnight working instead of sleeping. Those are the sacrifices we make because we've been told that we won't get anywhere if we don't. Let me tell you something, though. After grinding out work for two years, I've come to realize that our bodies, minds, and spirits are more important than any grade we can receive. For all of you going into college, already in college, or recovering from college, do not become obsessed with a hypothetical life you run on repeat in your imagination. You are not in that life right now therefore it is not your priority. Your priority right now is whatever your life is right now. It's that simple. Do not forget to do the little things that make you feel human because you aren't a machine. In this time which we live, we have no choice but to be on a grind of all work and no play, but we don't have to let ourselves go because of that. If we give up and tap out, we won't be able to set future generations free of the financial, mental, emotional, and physical trap that early adulthood has turned into.